We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
