Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
This is the high leading the old right now
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
