I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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