i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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