Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
oh god the rape fog is back!
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
