If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Randomize
