Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Someone came in the potted fern
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize