why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
