I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
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