i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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