We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
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