Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Randomize
