Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
