The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
