can we get nightvision for the apartment?
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Randomize
