Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
They took my balls.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Sext me about skeletons
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Randomize
