I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Randomize
