She is in my trunk
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Randomize
