Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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