I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Randomize
