official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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