Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
I'm having to shit out rocks
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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