I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Randomize
