Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
you will always have a special place in my vag
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
