..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
