Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
We had sex on a dog bed..
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Couch. On fire.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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