no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
