dude i'm inner monologue high
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
