the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
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