the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Randomize
