If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
