I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Moan for me like Helen Keller
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
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