You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Randomize
