I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Randomize
