i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
