Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize