Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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