is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
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