The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
