Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Randomize
