dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
