lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
