We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
