im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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