She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Randomize
