Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
how do you play pong handcuffed?
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
