I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
