Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
