i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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