dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
