He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize