i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
sarcasm needs its own font
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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