i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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