Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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