You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
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