just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
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