my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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