He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
