It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Randomize
