I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I just blew my weed a kiss
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
