If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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