my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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