let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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